The Peevish Qualities of Man
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when Dave is surrounded by three angry women. M/G, JJ/Rossi, and E/A. Co-auth'd w/ tonnie2001969
1. Chapter 1

**The Peevish Qualities of Man**

**Prompt: Private Practice – "What Women Want"**

_**Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything good scraped out of their heads with a dull spoon. – Unknown**_

Chapter One

As Penelope Garcia stepped off the elevator into the BAU bullpen, her footsteps were strident as she stomped across the hallway into the break room, her only intention to avoid as many people as possible, retrieve a cup of java and wall herself off in her dungeon. That was it. Exchanging trivialities with her co-workers wasn't on her agenda. Not today. Maybe not ever again. Because Penelope Garcia was pissed and Penelope Garcia did NOT get pissed very often.

Slamming into the small kitchen area, she dropped her formidable fuchsia bag onto the table before turning toward the coffee pot. Rolling her eyes as she noticed the other occupant of the small room, she ignored him, instead concentrating on the task at hand. She needed that coffee mainlined and she needed it now!

Watching the jerky movements of their resident optimist with a raised brow, David Rossi frowned. Something was off. Hearing the clatter of her coffee mug slamming to the counter, Dave shook his head. Nope, worse than merely off, something appeared to be royally pissing the normally bubbly woman off. Offering a wary smile, Dave asked, almost in spite of himself, "Problems, Garcia?"

"I hate men," Penelope Garcia grumbled, plopping her ample form into a wooden chair around the break table Monday morning. Just what she needed. Curiosity over her current mood…by a world renowned profiler, no less. But it would be impolite to ignore him, wouldn't it?

"Excuse me?" asked Rossi, lifting alarmed eyes to the normally vibrant technical analyst. Yep, his assumption was definitely correct. Something bad had happened. Or Penelope Garcia's body had been invaded by pod people. Either way, he had a feeling that things were going to take a turn for the worse if help didn't arrive in the form of another female fairly quickly.

"I don't believe I stuttered," Garcia snapped uncharacteristically. She knew it was unfair to snipe at the elder man. He hadn't been the one to hurt her. He was innocent. Or as innocent as a man like David Rossi could be.

Breathing out a sigh of resignation, the older man knew that he was trapped. With flawless execution, this non-agent with the lethal skills of a sniper had managed to corner him as cagily as the team managed to trap their unsubs. Momentarily grateful that he had some experience with the so-called fairer sex, those three ex-wives coming in handy for something, Rossi said, carefully, "I know that I'm going to regret asking this, but what exactly has given you such a dismal view of my gender?"

Leveling a glare on him that would have felled lesser mortals, Garcia pursed her lips as she dug through her purse, muttering, "What's not to hate? Your gender as a whole leaves a hell of a lot to be desired, Agent Rossi." Glancing up as she found her blue packet of Equal, Penelope ripped open the top as she added grudgingly, a slight more benevolently, "Although you've not done anything personally to piss me off today. Yet."

"Glad to hear that," Rossi replied, resisting the urge to place a nuclear shield between him and the human dynamo. Seeing her dump the sweetener into her coffee, he handed her a plastic spoon as he said, neutrally, "Here. You might need this."

Grabbing the implement from his hand, Garcia violently stirred her drink with it as she snapped, bitterly, "See, even YOU knew what my next need was going to be. You gave me something I could use. YOU didn't make some half-ass assumption about me that a three-year-old in daycare would know was going to be waaaay off base."

"Maybe you'd rather have this conversation with one of the women on our team," Rossi suggested quickly, seeing the growing anger in the blonde's eyes. And he had absolutely no compunction whatsoever at throwing his team members underneath this particular proverbial bus.

Ignoring his words completely, Garcia muttered, "All I ask is that that man use the brain that I know God gave him for good and not for evil." Jabbing her spoon against the heated ceramic mug, Garcia snapped loudly, her anger evident in her every action, "Is it too much to ask that he take into consideration someone else other than his own useless self for once?"

Wincing as he watched the younger colorful woman pull the spoon back from her cup and toss it violently to the table, Dave eyed the doorway three foot from him. Freedom waited just outside that portal. The question was only if he could make it…could he escape this volatile woman's wrath? "Why don't I just go find someone that might be better suited to helping you sort out this situation?" he asked, taking a tentative step toward the door.

Snorting into her coffee, Pen mumbled, "Just like a damn man…running when the going gets rough."

Had that woman just called him a coward? She had! Looking carefully at her, he shook his thoughts off…he wasn't a coward. He was smart. Smart enough to know that he needed help…female help. At any rate, he was fairly certain anything he said would add fuel to this growing flame. Eyeing the door again, he debated the wisdom of making another move. He was fast, but he knew Garcia was wily…and determined…to make some man…any man…pay for something. What, he didn't know. He only knew that his ass didn't want to pay the piper.

Gazing up to see Rossi staring toward the door, Garcia relented. Barely. "I'm sorry, Agent Rossi," she mumbled into her coffee cup as she took another sip. "You're perfectly innocent. Go," she said, gesturing in the direction of the door.

"I definitely wouldn't go that far," JJ growled from the doorway as she walked into the room. Glaring at David, she smirked with a tilt of her head, "Agent Rossi is anything but innocent, are you, Dave?"

Looking from Garcia's disgruntled countenance to JJ, now looking at him through narrowed eyes, Dave threw his eyes heavenward. Dear God, there were two of them now!


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N - Greetings! I hope you are all enjoying this exciting journey. We're definitely still enjoying writing it! I just wanted to take this opportunity to let readers know that I will be posting again on Monday. We're going to take this weekend and try to get some additional chapters and stories in the Vault. As ever, I still appreciate all the feedback and reviews you guys offer. It keeps me inspired and gives me hope that we're still on the right track. And, like always, I couldn't do any of this without my great co-author and friend, tonnie2001969. She's a rock. And without her outlines and plot direction, none of the magic happens! And remember, we don't own Criminal Minds. _**

**The Peevish Qualities of Man**

**Chapter Two**

"Hi, honey," Rossi said with a forced smile, wondering if he could parlay this little adventure into hell into a something other than the nightmare it was turning out to be. "Did you finish with that appointment with Strauss already?"

Rolling her eyes at his obvious stupidity, JJ jerked a mug from the cabinet as she said, sarcasm oozing from every word, "No, Dave, I'm obviously still there. I'm apparently just a figment of your imagination, aren't I?"

Sighing once again, idly wondering when he'd picked up such an old-person habit, Rossi forced himself to remain calm as he said, as neutrally as possible, "All I wanted to know was if…."

"Was if I've managed to keep Strauss off your back for another month," JJ said stridently, pouring coffee rapidly into her oversized mug. Letting loose a very unladylike snort, JJ muttered, "I should have thrown you to the wolves, like you deserved."

Ears perking up at the obvious disagreement occurring between the unit's best known lovebirds, Garcia asked, temporarily distracted from her own troubles, "What did our resident SuperAgent do this time, JJ?"

Turning on her heel, JJ leaned against the counter as she answered, a fake smile pasted onto her lips, "Oh, our Mr. Wonderful here decided that I could just fix all his problems for him by explaining why twenty-nine of our case files had managed to be submitted without HIS necessary signature. " Glaring in Rossi's general direction, she added, dangerously, "Not that it mattered to HIM that I already had my own job to do today, now did it?"

"Preach it, sister," Garcia said with a growl, downing half her coffee in one fell sip. Looking up at JJ, she asked, shaking her head, "Is it all men in general today or just ours? Have they been invaded by pod people and managed to have any and all good sense sucked out of their bodies somehow?"

"You are assuming that they had any sense to begin with," JJ replied with a snort. Raising an eyebrow, she added knowingly, looking at her friend, "So what has Kevin done today?"

Seeing an obvious overtone to the conversation starting to develop, Rossi knew that if he didn't make his escape now, that he was doomed to this ninth level of hell for God only knew how long. Smiling in what he hoped was a non-threatening way, he said calmly, reaching for his newspaper, "Well, ladies, I'll just leave you to your little chat." Glancing at his watch, he added for good measure, "And I'm sure it's time to meet with Hotch about now."

"I seriously doubt that," Emily Prentiss snorted from the doorway as she glared at Dave. "Since Mr. High and Mighty himself stood me up for over half an hour. Our esteemed leader forgot that he had a custodial review in McLean, Virginia this morning. He evidently left over an hour ago. But not before leaving me sitting in the café across town….alone….stranded!"

Inwardly groaning as he found himself surrounded by three irate females, Dave began to feel like the gazelle being eyed by the lion. These women had blood in their eyes…all for differing reasons…but with one unified goal. It appeared they'd all like an opportunity to rip his head from his shoulders. With their sharp little teeth.

"Now, ladies," Dave said, holding out a conciliatory hand as he took an involuntary step back, "we all have these unfortunate days."

"And they always seem to be caused by some stupid action a man has made," Pen growled, cocking her head as she gazed at the uncomfortable senior profiler in the room. "Care to explain that, SuperAgent?"

"Uhmmm….I think I'll leave that to smarter men than myself," Dave replied calmly, judging his distance from the door. Hell, he could sprint it, couldn't he?

Blocking his path, Emily shook her head. "I know what you're thinking. You'd never make it, Rossi."

Damn! When had he become that obvious? Shooting Jen a beseeching look, Dave begged with his eyes for her to grant him sanctuary. She loved him, right?"

"Don't look at me," JJ shrugged as she leaned farther back against the counter. "I'm pissed at YOU!"

"Why is it so hard for a man to understand what a woman really wants?" Penelope asked, shooting JJ a questioning look. "This one belongs to you," she said, nodding at Rossi, "and he's still clueless."

"I've tried, Pen! God, how I've tried!" JJ groaned as she glared at Dave, shaking her head in frustration. "For seven long months, I've tried to teach him how to get it right, but have I been successful?"

"Obviously not," Emily answered, reaching for a mug as she grabbed the coffee pot that Garcia slid in her direction. "Otherwise, he would have rubbed off on those other morons that surround us."

"Amen to that, sister," Penelope agreed, throwing a glare at Rossi for good measure. She turned to look at JJ as she asked, seriously, "Please tell me that he at least doesn't take you for granted. Please tell me that he doesn't just ASSUME that you'll always be there to meet his every beck and call. Please just tell me that, Jayje."

Emily muttered as she poured a healthy dose of creamer into her mug, "Hundred dollars says he does. He's a man, isn't her?"

"Were you not paying attention when I gave you my run down of the meeting with Strauss?" JJ asked, waving a hand in the air. Turning to Rossi, she said with a snap, "What were your exact words again, Dave? Oh, yeah, that's right. I believe they were, "You ALWAYS fix this for me, Jen." Pausing, she added with a note of finality to her voice, "Never again, you hear me? Never. Again."

"But -," Dave yelped, opening his mouth to defend himself.

Jabbing an accusatory finger in his direction, Emily laughed harshly, "Watch! Now he's gonna try to justify himself. He's going to try and actually tell us how this wasn't his fault…how he couldn't possibly be responsible. And he's rubbing off on Aaron. Do you realize that when that man called me, he had the unmitigated gall to imply that it was MY fault he was going to be late because I hadn't reminded him about a review that's been on his calendar for months? Months, guys!"

"Sounds about right," JJ humphed with a frigid glance in Rossi's direction.

"In my defense…." Dave tried to interject.

"Yeah, well, Emily, my friend, I can top you both," Penelope added, her normally smiling face scrunched into a deep frown. "My former boyfriend quit his very lucrative job at the Bureau. Last week. Ask me when I found out? Go ahead, ask me!"

"'I'm afraid I might already know the answer," Emily replied with a shake of her raven head. "And I'm guessing it was only when he absolutely had to divulge the information, am I correct?"

"Give the woman a cigar," Penelope answered bitterly, crossing her arms over her ample bosom.

Raising an eyebrow, JJ added, "And I'm guessing from your use of the word former that his lack of advance warning resulted in his quick removal from your life."

"And we have another winner!" Garcia joked sarcastically with a shake of her blonde head. "You bet your ass I bounced his right on down the road. Wouldn't you if you woke up to a phone call telling you that your significant other had decided to move to the god-forsaken country of Liechtenstein? And that he was just sure that you would pack up YOUR life and move right along with him?"

Before he could stop himself, Rossi said with a knowing shake of his head, "So he got that job, did he? Good for him."

And then he realized that he had made a colossal mistake when three sets of anger-filled eyes swung in his direction.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N - Okay, decided to only go Sunday without posting. Please review and let me know ya'll are still reading! And is anybody else seeing their story traffic acting screwy. According to that, I've got practically no readers. I really, really hope that's wrong. LOL! Thanks, guys, and as ever, I own nothing!_**

**The Peevish Qualities of Man**

**Chapter Three**

"You sounded like you knew about this before it happened, Dave," JJ asked, her words deceptively slow as she took a step in his direction. "And I'm sure that if you had known such a thing that you would have shared that information with me immediately, wouldn't you, Dave?"

Involuntarily taking a step backward and finding himself pressed against the far counter, Rossi forced himself to think quickly. He normally prided himself on being calm and collected in any circumstance, didn't he? Surely he could handle these three women and escape with his manhood intact. Surely.

"Now, Jen," he started calmly, pasting what he hoped was a soothing smile on his face, "Young Lynch came to me for a reference. All I did was provide him what he asked for. There wasn't any reason for me to share that with you, was there?"

"Oh, no, not at all," JJ snapped out, eyes flashing daggers at the hapless man, "Why should you have thought anything about letting me know something that would have directly affected one of my best friends? Why should little ole me know such a thing?"

"I didn't know what the job was or where he'd be relocated to," Dave said quickly, remembering the one thing that had saved his life on more than one occasion. When in doubt….deny, deny, deny. "He only wanted a character reference! You know, just the usual crap about how small animals and children are safe in his company!"

Latching onto his words quickly, Penelope narrowed her eyes at him. "So you KNEW he'd be relocated with this new job opportunity."

Hedging, Dave shifted on his feet as he said, slowly, "He might have mentioned it would involve a small move." He added, trying to justify his thoughts and actions, "Honest to God, Garcia, I thought he meant across town!"

"That's another thing," Emily hissed, throwing an arm toward Rossi. "Why is it these men in our lives never think to get ALL the information? Why do bits and pieces of the story seem to satisfy them?"

"Because they're stupid," JJ said succinctly. "Stupid, stupid creatures concerned with nothing further than their own creature comforts. Unless it affects their situation in life, its extraneous information, deleted from their brains no sooner than it enters."

"Now, that's not fair!" Dave frowned at her words, realizing too late the folly of his own words.

"Fair?" Penelope gawked, her penciled eyebrows rising toward the ceiling. "You wanna talk about "fair", Agent Rossi?" she hissed.

"I might have spoken a bit hastily," Rossi backpedaled quickly, wondering which deity he had offended to deserve such punishment on a Monday morning. And by the looks of these three women, he was going to be subjected to this for quite a while longer.

"Damn right you did," Penelope snapped, pushing back her chair as she stood up, starting to pace erratically in the small room. Looking at the other women in the room, she asked, plaintively, "Is it fair to me that Kevin made a unilateral decision about our lives? Is it fair to me that HE now thinks that I'm being less than cooperative with HIS changes? Is it fair to me that he thinks I'm being selfish because refused to give up MY perfectly good job to help HIM sow his wild oats?" Pausing, she asked, wearily, "Is it?"

"No, it's not, sweetie," JJ said soothingly, patting Penelope's shoulder in solidarity. "And no one in their right mind would have expected you to agree to any of that, would they, Emily?"

"Never," Emily agreed immediately, then added, "Except some dumbass man, thinking with the wrong head!"

Stalking toward Rossi, Penelope leveled him with a steely gaze. "You're a man, Rossi! You tell me why he'd do this to me?"

Looking helplessly at JJ, Dave watched the dainty beauty shrug. "I'd think carefully about your answer if I were you," she advised petulantly, lifting her hand to study her nails. "The repercussions of your words could be far reaching."

"And painful," Emily added with a malicious smile. "Don't forget painful, Jayje."

Looking between the three women currently staring him down, Dave felt the urgent need to call for help. Any help. Morgan. Hotch. Surely that man could hear him in whatever prison he was in right now, couldn't he? Hell, even Reid would do in a pinch. But gazing toward the empty doorway longingly, he had a sneaking suspicion that no such backup would be forthcoming. No, he was on his own with these demented beauties.

Swallowing, Dave told himself to buck up. Women could smell fear at twenty paces…and these women were a hell of a lot closer than that. Clearing his throat, he searched through his previous endeavors into the romantic realm. Surely he had something he could draw on to get him through the next few minutes. He'd been surfing this wave for over thirty years, hadn't he?

"Well, ladies," he began. "It's like this." Smiling reassuring at them to show that he was not a threat to them, he continued, "At the risk of betraying my own gender, we're not exactly the smartest creatures when it comes to remembering to share things that you might consider important."

"That ANY sane human being would consider important," Emily amended, glowering in his direction.

"And I think there's more to the story than that, Dave," JJ added, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was getting there, honey," Rossi said, trying to hold back the sigh that was threatening to escape once again. "As I was saying, it's not a justification, but sometimes there's so much information in our minds that we start to divide the information into categories, and we prioritize…."

Interrupting, JJ said, slowly and ever-so-falsely sweetly, "Surely you're not saying that we're not priorities, are you, Dave?"


	4. Chapter 4

**The Peevish Qualities of Man**

**Chapter Four**

Swallowing roughly, Rossi replied smoothly, "Not at all, Jen. Not at all. But what I was about to say is that we prioritize incorrectly."

Narrowing her eyes, Emily muttered, "Understatement of the year."

"It's just we sometimes look at things from a different position than say, well, you would…We make decisions about what we deem worthy and not worthy of our attention."

"So you made a CONSCIOUS decision that Kevin uprooting his life, and by default, MY LIFE, was not worthy of your grand attention," Penelope squawked, flapping her arms up and down.

Grimacing, Dave shook his head. Shit, had he actually just stepped into that quicksand? "That's not how I meant for that to come out, Garcia," he quickly said, taking a step toward the obviously distraught woman.

"Just another man that doesn't think my feelings are worth considering!" Penelope growled at him.

"Garcia, that's simply not true," Dave said, shaking his head as he tried to feel his way through the minefield that had quickly developed around him.

Jerking her head up at his words, Penelope yelped, hands dropping to her hips, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"Dig a little deeper, Dave," JJ admonished harshly, dropping a comforting arm around Garcia's shoulders.

"What an ass," Emily muttered, reaching out a hand to pat Garcia's arm consolingly.

"Well, hell!" Dave groaned, dropping his chin to his chest. Where in the name of all that was holy were the other men on his team? There was no way that he should be facing this firing squad alone. He needed the bond of male solidarity. He needed help! And he needed it now!

Hearing voices in the hallway outside the break room, Rossi looked up in hopeful anticipation. Could it be that the same gods that had condemned him to this very inquisition were now reversing their earlier decision and sending him reinforcements?

Watching with widened eyes as the door opened, Rossi barely held in the war whoop that threatened to escape as he saw the bald head of Derek Morgan. Waving a hand in Morgan's direction, he said, as cheerfully as he could make his voice, "And here's Morgan. I'm sure that he'll be able to answer some of these questions from his unique point of view, ladies."

Warily eyeing the assembled group, Morgan glanced from the women to Rossi as he asked, carefully, "Is there something going on in here?"

"You could say that," Rossi said evasively, not wanting to scare off the only assistance that was being offered. Grabbing a cup, he slid it in Morgan's direction as he said, firmly, "You look like you want to join us for some coffee, Morgan. Don't you?"

Catching the tone in his senior profiler's voice, Morgan narrowed his eyes as he took a step backward, "I think I'll run down to the corner coffee shop. They've got the coffee I like best anyway."

"Again, just like a man," Emily snapped out, glaring at the newest entry to their group. "Just decide at the last moment that you're going to change your plans. Don't consider anybody else at all, do you?"

"Hey!" Morgan exclaimed, holding up his hands in the universal sign of peace. "I just got here, Prentiss! What have I done to offend you?"

"Your entire gender offends me," Emily snapped back, a permanent glower settling on her features. "Did you think to ask any of us if we'd like to have a cup of that premium coffee you enjoy so much? Did he, Jayje?"

"Of course not. His mind is attuned to his own needs, not anyone else's," JJ sneered, shaking her head. "Why would it be? If he's happy, the whole world should be happy!" she said, sweeping an arm out to encompass the room.

"And if the other occupants in his world AREN'T happy, who cares? He is…and that's all that matters, right, Derek?" Penelope added, glaring at the newest addition to their party.

Looking over at Dave in shock, Morgan hissed, "What the hell did you do, man?!"

"I didn't do anything," Dave said tightly, narrowing his eyes at the newcomer. "Other than try to find a decent cup of coffee," he muttered, tightening his hand on his own mug.

"That's crap," JJ declared flatly, turning on her heel to stare at the man that was currently sharing her life. "You, David Rossi, are as selfish as Morgan over there," she accused, pointing sideways at Derek.

"But, I haven't done anything," Morgan argued plaintively, wondering how he had fallen into what was obviously a trap to crush his manhood.

"Oh, you've done plenty, I assure you," Emily said smugly, rolling her eyes at the younger profiler. "Your exploits are almost as well known as the man's standing beside you."

"Not quite," JJ sniffed, maintaining a pointed glare at the dark-haired man.

"Close enough," Pen muttered, frowning down into her almost-empty mug.

"See, this is obviously your fault, Rossi," Morgan snapped, attempting to inch a step closer to the door, freedom just within his reach. "I'll just run out and leave you to it, then."

"That's not at ALL what we were saying, Morgan," Emily said, glaring across the room, quelling the man in his steps. "Were you even LISTENING to us?"

"Of course he wasn't, Emily," Penelope humphed, pursing her lips as she looked the man up and down. "Do they ever listen? Seriously, when was the last time that you knew of a man to actually pay attention to the words that came out of our mouths?"

"Again, Rossi," Morgan muttered, pressing his back against the wall, "What did you do to these women?"

"Not a damn thing, man," Rossi muttered back, then added, narrowing his eyes, "It was Lynch. He's the one that deserves to suffer like this, not us."

"I can hear you, Dave," JJ called out, turning to glower in his direction. "And you might want to rethink that last statement. Both of you have done enough in your lifetimes to put you in the same category as Kevin, and don't bother to deny it."

"Honey," Dave began slowly, knowing that his every word was being scrutinized with greater intensity than a Supreme Court Justice's decisions, "Just tell me what I need to do to make this up to you, to all THREE of you, and I promise you, it will be done by lunch!"


	5. Chapter 5

**The Peevish Qualities of Man**

**Chapter Five**

"I'm with him," Morgan said, nodding furiously. "You want Lynch's head on a platter, I'll go out right now and get it, no questions asked!"

"Gonna be a long trip," Pen growled, turning away to march back to her seat at the table.

"Somebody wanna explain this to me?" Morgan asked cautiously, casting a glance sideways toward the only other man in the room.

"Lynch took a job in some godforsaken little country in Europe –" Rossi began.

"Which YOU signed off on," JJ hissed.

"Did not! I merely wrote a reference. Hell, I didn't even know what the job was!" Rossi defended himself, knowing that he was going to need any loophole he could get if he hoped to get JJ back on his side anytime soon. "Anyhow, he expected Garcia, here, to uproot her life and join him in Timbuktu."

"Liechtenstein!" Penelope corrected with a frown. Flashing a look at JJ over his shoulder, she asked, "He really only hears the details that he wants, doesn't he?"

Rolling his eyes, Rossi murmured, "Whatever. Anyhow, the ladies are all particularly interested this morning in why all men are selfish, unhearing bastards' intent on ruining their lives."

"In a nutshell," Emily nodded her agreement with Rossi's assessment.

"Baby Girl, he ain't worth your tears if he could walk away from you," Derek said quietly, training his eyes on the colorful blonde in the center of the room.

Lifting tear bright eyes to Morgan's chocolate orbs, Penelope offered a watery smile. "See, Agent Rossi, that's all I wanted," she said gesturing at Morgan's concerned face. "Right there! See!"

Looking from Penelope to Morgan, Dave furrowed his brow. "What?" he finally asked incredulously. "He's been here for less than three minutes and he solves all the world's problems with those simple little words?"

"What can I say, Rossi?" Morgan said with a grin, cocking an eyebrow. "I know my Princess." Narrowing his eyes toward Garcia, he asked, seriously, "You sure you don't want me to take care of Lynch for you? I'll find him and kick his Liechtensteinian ass all over Europe if that would make you happy."

Gathering her bag and her oversized coffee mug, Garcia smiled brightly at him as she passed by him, grabbing his arm, "No, but the fact that you offered means that I'm going to treat you to a grande of that overpriced cappuccino that you so love. And I might even spring for a basket of biscotti to go with it."

"Oh, it'll be my treat, Baby Cakes." Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, Morgan grinned down at her as he added, "A gentleman never allows a lady to pay, especially on the first date."

Watching the couple sail out the door, Rossi stared at the departing couple in wide-eyed amazement as he shook his head. "Would somebody tell me what just happened?"

"Care and consideration," Emily huffed rolling her eyes as she headed toward the door. Pausing to nod meaningfully at JJ, she warned, "I'd try using a little of it now, if I were you."

Watching the dark haired profiler sashay out the door, Dave turned leery eyes toward the only women in the room he truly cared about. He had a feeling that he was going to need to revisit some salient points of their relationship if he hoped to continue said relationship any farther. "If you recall," he said slowly, "when you tore my head off before we left the house this morning, I offered to go to that meeting for you, JJ."

Half-smiling, JJ nodded, as she said simply, "I remember, Rossi."

"And yet, you neglected to mention that tiny fact to our mutual friends," Dave pointed out, slowly crossing the room toward her.

"Did I?" she asked innocently, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked up into his face.

"Yeah," he said, pausing directly in front of her. "You did," he said, staring down at her.

"Hmmm…interesting," JJ shrugged, slowly blinking at him.

"Care to explain why?" Dave asked, deceptively casually. He had grown very talented at reading this tiny woman's mind, and he had a feeling that the answer he was about to receive was going to still surprise him.

"We needed a scapegoat," JJ replied simply, reaching out a hand to pat his chest.

"A scapegoat?" Dave repeated, raising a brow.

"Yep," JJ smiled, looping her arms around his neck. "A scapegoat. Penelope and Emily needed to vent. And I knew my big strong man could take the heat. I was right."

"Your so-called big strong man almost decided jumping out that window over there," he said, nodding toward the far wall's bank of windows, "was preferable to facing down three enraged women," he returned evenly, dropping warm hands to her hips.

"Coward," she whispered with a grin, slowly leaning forward to nip at his lips.

"Bet your ass," Dave agreed, unwilling to be so easily diverted, although his body was reminding him that their argument this morning had precluded many other activities from their schedule. "You owe me," he said, his words a statement of fact, not a question.

"Bet your ass," JJ verified, leaning forward to capture her prize. Yes, she'd gotten one of the good ones. And she couldn't have been happier.

_**FINIS**_


End file.
